Funny ones

Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.

Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Serious ones

Dependency Injection: It decouples your classes construction from the construction of its dependencies.

You don’t have a backup unless you’ve restored your data from it.

Henry Ford: "If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got."